• Tamara Dias

3 Ways to Give Yourself Grace

We all know what it’s like to start something new. Whether it’s a new job, new recipe, or new workout plan - we go through an adjustment phase where we are getting used to the change. Recently, I started a few new major projects, and I found myself circling in critique and negative self-talk.

Shouldn’t you know how to do this?

Why is this taking you so long?

Are you emailing yet another person to ask them for help?

All of these questions went through my brain as I tried my best to settle into these new assignments. Rather than embrace this learning curve, I began to tell myself all of the reasons why I wasn’t moving or working fast enough. I wanted to be an expert immediately, and I was tired of not moving at the pace that I’m used to.

Has this ever happened to you?

Oftentimes, my perfectionist tendencies show up and slap me in the face. I’ve felt the weight of wanting to do everything accurately and quickly the first time. When you’re settling into something new, that isn’t always possible. Slow down and give yourself grace. I know that “grace” has been a word that I’ve reflected on often with all that 2020 has dropped into my life, but it’s not always a concept that’s easy to apply.

If you’re like me, and you’re spiraling in a space of being too hard on yourself, here’s a few reminders that I’ve been using lately:

  • Ask for help: The people who love you want to support you. Lean on them and ask for their support.

  • Start with your non-negotiables: What absolutely must get done today? Not everything is urgent and important.

  • Evaluate the expectations: What is exactly required? What unnecessary expectations are you placing on yourself?

There is nothing wrong with wanting to do your best. In fact, I pride myself on my work ethic and the effort I put into important projects. But, we want to consider our perspective. Is our aim to do well trapped in an unrealistic image? If it is, we have to pause and reevaluate our “why”. In my toughest moments, I ask myself: “would I put this pressure on my best friend?” and the answer is always a loud “NO!” If you find yourself doing the same, it could be a clear signal that it’s time to ease up a bit.

“Go above and beyond for yourself! You do it for family, friends, and colleagues, but don’t forget about YOU. It’s important to include yourself. You are worthy of your own kindness, too!”

― Stephanie Lahart

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